Jersey Shore Season 2 Premiere

Due to my enduring love for my home state, I have to watch the Jersey Shore. I couldn’t resist jotting down a few thoughts.

— This season the Jersey Shore relocates to South Beach. How many people around the country made the obligatory “Snooki is taking her talents to South Beach” joke? Thanks, Lebron.

"Hooking up with grenades--that is, uh, a bigger ugly chick. And also landmines--that is a thin ugly chick."

— Pauly D: “Can’t stand this weather. Can’t tan in this weather. Can’t creep in this weather.” I completely forgot about using ‘creep/creepy’ as a positive verb/adjective. Amazing.

— As we blogged about in January, Obama and the Dems dumped haterade on the Jersey Shore cast members, and they noticed. After applying a third coat of spray tan, Snooki says, “I don’t go tanning anymore because Obama put a 10% tax on tanning. And I feel like he did that intentionally for us. McCain would never put a 10% tax on tanning. Because he’s pale, and he probably wants to be tan. Obama doesn’t have that problem. Obviously.” Actually since McCain survived skin cancer, I think he’ll pass on the tan. Gym and laundry, though, are still on.

–There’s a great cutaway from the girls catfighting in their cab, to the guys sitting quietly in their cab. Just chilling. A perfect example of the common perception that when guys fight, it’s got and angry for the moment and then everyone makes up, while when girls fight, it’s epic and interminable.

–How badass is Jwoww? You know she’s street because she preps by putting Vaseline on her face, to help the punches slide off. That’s an Ender Wiggin move right there.

–Do you get a Medal of Honor for jumping on a grenade, not to save your buddies in the foxhole, but just because you like grenades? Ronnie wants to know.

–Does anyone else feel bad for Angelina at this point? I can’t remember why everyone hates her, and all those lonely shots of her are pushing all of my underdog sympathy buttons.

Ah, welcome back Jersey Shore. Fist pump. Question to the readers: why do I, and millions of Americans, like this show?